This past Valentines Day I was encouraged to write about LOVE. I’ve always battled with self-love, as I think many of us do. I am so unbelievably hard on myself and always feel I should be doing more- giving more, learning more, experiencing more, more more more. After being diagnosed with breast cancer less than a year ago and experiencing a lot of stress while undergoing a lot of difficult things, I wasn’t sure how much “more” I could handle.
Turns out…a whole lot. I am strong, I am brave, and I am here.
Thank you for being here with me. And I hope this little thing I wrote- which I am now taking applications for (my musician friends I am talking to you bc I think it could be killer lyrics in today’s youth market) – helps you love your self a little bit more this evening.
Love ME
by Melissa Rutigliano
Drowning in doubt
Mourning in misery
I am learning how to love someone…
Me.
The scars are visible
The cuts still bleed
Yet only one person sees the ugly…
Me.
Guilty for what I eat
Treading water, sleep retreats
I need someone to feed….
Me.
Spending too much time
comparing others to me –
Prettier
Smarter
Cancer-free.
In sickness and in health
The past? Has been. The future? To be.
Someone will always be present…
Me.
I should do more
Push harder
Slow down.
Sinking deeper.
I can throw a life vest to someone…
Me.
Overcoming and changing
Holding on and letting go
I am trying better to know…
Me.
I tell myself I’m enough
I remind myself –
breathe
I am OK
Not being OK
I am learning to love…
Me.
Finding a friend within
Discovering a person I can believe
Someone here is different…
Me.
A thinker
A survivor
A swimmer
A shark
Leaving messy marks
Making beautiful mistakes
Give and take
I am becoming proud to be…
Me.